So here’s a notice to passengers from the old Far West Stage Line.
(It’s another one from the Branding Iron Steakhouse in Safford, Arizona.)
Adherence to the following rules will insure a pleasant trip for all:
Abstinence from liquor is requested, but if you must drink, share the bottle. Tho do otherwise makes you appear selfish and un-neighborly.
If ladies are present, gentlemen are urged to forego smoking cigars and pipes as the odor of same is repugnant to the gentle sex. Chewing tobacco is permitted, but spit with the wind, not against it.
Gentlemen must refrain from the use of rough language in the presence of ladies and children.
Buffalo robes are provided for your comfort during cold weather. Hogging robes will not be tolerated and the offender will be made to ride with the driver.
Don’t snore loudly while sleeping or use your fellow passenger’s shoulder for a pillow; he (or she) may not understand and friction may result.
Firearms may be kept on your person for use in emergencies. Do not fire them for pleasure or shoot at wild animals as the sound riles the horses.
In the event of runaway horses, remain calm. Leaping from the coach in panic will leave you injured, at the mercy of the elements, hostile Indians and hungry coyotes.
Forbidden topics of discussion are stagecoach robberies and Indian uprisings.
Gents guilty of unchivalrous behavior toward lady passengers will be put off the stage. It’s a long walk back. A word to the wise is sufficient.