Has anyone ever cut you with a glance, maybe a simple word?
Of course they have.
But here’s the thing: If a stranger is capable of this, what can a parent do?
We all know the answer.
We know because we call all immediately recall a time that one of our parents built us up. They encouraged us. They asked us to be the best versions of ourselves.
Unfortunately, we all remember the opposite too.
And who knows, maybe we (as children) needed to be disciplined in that instant.
But rather than a calm and practical consequence, we got the ugly angry side of someone we love.
Let’s just be careful of the memories we are forming here.
Please, please, let me not muff up this parenting thing…
Sometimes it takes no more than a few words, a look, or a tone of voice to tell you that you’re either “slow and stupid,” “a pest,” or a basically likable and capable person. How your parents think of you can often be communicated in seconds. When you multiply those seconds by the hours of daily contact between parents and children, you begin to realize how powerfully young people can be influenced by the way their parents view them.
-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)