Sterling Terrell

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How To Free Our Children From Playing Roles

How To Free Our Children From Playing Roles

Let’s free our children from playing roles that we have put them in.

Or, sometimes, roles they have put themselves in.

Here are 6 ways we can do it

#1 – Show them a different version of themselves

A child struggling with self-confidence can be built up by highlighting their accomplishments when appropriate.

#2 – Put them in different situations

A boy dealing with selfishness can be asked to make sure everyone gets a turn during a family game-night.

#3 – Let them hear you praise them

A girl struggling with homework should overhear her parents talking about how well she did on an assignment earlier in the week.

#4 – Show the correct behavior

I think we should be overly polite with a child that is struggling with their manners.

#5 – Share all the special memories

Start more sentences with “I remember when…” and then praise your kids past actions and adorableness.

#6 – Tell them what you think of the previous role

Whenever a child does revert to a former role – straight up – tell them you are disappointed in them. It sounds weird. But it happens to work. Simple as that.

Understand: People will be what you tell them they are.

To Free Children from Playing Roles 1. Look for opportunities to show the child a new picture of himself or herself. 2. Put children in situations where they can see themselves differently. 3. Let children overhear you say something positive about them. 4. Model the behavior you’d like to see. 5. Be a storehouse for your child’s special moments. 6. When your child behaves according to the old label, state your feelings and/ or your expectations.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)

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Filed Under: PotpourriTagged With: #Children, #Parenting

This Is Demanding And Exhausting

This Is Demanding And Exhausting

You know what is demanding and exhausting?

Parenting is.

Not in some whiny way that you wish for a different life.

Not in some childish way that puts yourself first.

Parenting is hard because being a human is hard. (Most things worth doing are hard, if you want to know the truth.)

See, every single step along this path of life has it’s beauty – and it’s difficulty.

Maybe we give ourselves a break, do the best that we can, and ask forgiveness for everything we mess up in between.

I certainly will not get it all right.

But I am going to keep showing up.

One final thought: Let’s not cast ourselves in roles either—good parent, bad parent, permissive parent, authoritarian parent. Let’s start thinking of ourselves as human beings first, with great potential for growth and change. The process of living or working with children is demanding and exhausting. It requires heart, intelligence, and stamina. When we don’t live up to our own expectations—and we won’t always—let’s be as kind to ourselves as we are to our youngsters. If our children deserve a thousand chances, and then one more, let’s give ourselves a thousand chances—and then two more.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)

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Filed Under: PotpourriTagged With: #Obstacles, #Parenting

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