Sterling Terrell

recovering economist

Fixing Other People

Fixing Other People

Fixing other people can become an issue if taken too far.

I mean, there is big difference in someone coming to you with a problem and seeking help – or you seeing flaws in others and wanting to change them.

The former is about relationship. The latter puts the idea of “fixing” over the relationship.

And this is not asking if the “flawed” person even wants to be “fixed” in the first place.

Be compatible, of course, but love and accept people for who they are, flaws and all.

That’s love.

Suffering from the delusion that I was somehow “saving” this poor little rich girl, that surely she would benefit from a week on the beach, enjoying the simple pleasures of cold beer, a hammock, and local BBQ joints, I invited her to join me in the Caribbean over the Christmas holidays.

-Anthony Bourdain, Medium Raw

On Going To Therapy

On Going To Therapy

I’ll say this about going to therapy.

If you are anywhere near being on the fence about it: Go!

Although I have never been myself, I have seen others benefit greatly.

See, I think there are stresses in our lives that could be eased by talking to a professional acting as a dispassionate third party.

Divorce. Job loss. Death. Bankruptcy. Infidelity. PTSD. Obsessions. Phobias. These are not small things.

Don’t be scared about seeking help.

And certainly don’t have some kind of ill-informed aversion to it all.

“How’d I do?” I asked, nervously trying to joke around before I heard the verdict. He held up a piece of paper with the five categories. “In these four,” he said, “you’re doing okay. But in this one,” he pointed to the one in the middle, “you’re clinical.” “Clinical? What does that mean?” I asked. “People locked up in mental clinics—you’re like them. The only reason you’re not locked up is because you’ve figured out how to use these other four areas to compensate.” “Oh,” I said. I paused for a bit. “So what now?” “Now, we get to work.”

-Tim Grahl, Running Down A Dream

Sterling Terrell