I believe that giving our kids instant solutions deprives them of the best part of a struggle:
Thinking it through.
Maybe we can help point out an obstacle, by saying something like “Oh, wow. That is a problem.”
Or we can encourage critical thinking by saying: “I wonder if we could think of a few solutions to that?”
But if we give them the answers, our kids don’t even get a chance to have an original idea. And if they did have an idea, we have talked over them before they were able to share it!
This is another example of the importance of teaching our children how to think, rather than what to think.
When we give children advice or instant solutions, we deprive them of the experience that comes from wrestling with their own problems.
-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)