I rewrote this passage for myself:
“When I was young I thought I would work for myself before my forties. But that is not how it has gone. I’m still a salaryman. On top of that, almost everything I have done has had nothing to do with my education. I assumed I would have made enough money to be in a different position, but I haven’t. Maybe one day.”
Good-grief. Just be encouraged.
Keep your dreams alive.
And keep moving towards them in whatever way your life will allow.
You are where you are for a time and for a reason.
Do not squander it – for it is preparing you for what comes next.
In earlier decades I thought that I would be out of the screenwriting business before my seventies, but it hasn’t turned out that way. At seventy-three, with Diana’s help I’m still pecking them out. Most of what I’ve done is journeyman work—or at least it was until she came along. I assumed I’d make enough writing fiction to let Hollywood go, but. . . well, I haven’t. And besides the need that keeps me active in Grub Street, I like Hollywood too much to want to let it go.