Sterling Terrell

smart ideas from books (mostly)

  • Home
  • About
    • My CV
    • Books
    • Series
  • Newsletter
  • Advertising
  • Tools
You are here: Home / Potpourri / 7 Alternatives To Punishment In Parenting

7 Alternatives To Punishment In Parenting

7 Alternatives To Punishment In Parenting

If you are looking for a way out of traditional punishment, here are seven alternatives to punishment in parenting.

#1 – Explain what the problem is.

This is an example of giving information. It gives your child an opportunity to step up and do the right thing.

#2 – Share your feelings, in a kind way.

You want to express disappointment. But you also don’t want to be ugly or unkind and say something you regret. You allow your child the chance at empathy.

#3 – Set clear expectations.

It’s unreasonable to get mad when they leave their shoes in the bathroom if you have not stated clear and simple expectations about where their shoes go. Remember that clarity and repetition are persuasive.

#4 – Explain how they can make things right.

When giving the information from #1 does not work: “The front door is open.” Try the simple ask: “Would you please close the front door?”

#5 – Offer them a choice.

Make sure you are ok with both outcomes of a choice you give. For example: “Do you want to pick your room up before dinner or after dinner?”

#6 – Do not be passive.

Because if you don’t do anything, a kid will walk all over you if they can. They are boundary-pushers, after all.

#7 – Let the consequences do the teaching.

I’m not gonna lie. I love the comfort in this when it is done right. You came along beside your child in empathy and let the consequences of an action be the “bad-guy” instead of you. “You forgot your homework and got a zero?. Oh, no! I am so sorry. That is just awful. Man, I hope you don’t forget it at home next time!” Notice you didn’t run their homework to the school for them? And it’s best to do this when the consequences are palatable. You wouldn’t let a 2-year-old deal with the consequences of playing in the street for too long. Got it?

Alternatives to Punishment 1. Point out a way to be helpful. 2. Express strong disapproval (without attacking character). 3. State your expectations. 4. Show the child how to make amends. 5. Offer a choice. 6. Take action. 7. Allow the child to experience the consequences of his misbehavior.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: PotpourriTagged With: #Consequences, #Parenting

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Privacy Policy

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Notifications of all new posts by email.

Connect

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Search

Top Posts

  • The Tricky Lily Pad Riddle (You Probably Can't Solve)
    The Tricky Lily Pad Riddle (You Probably Can't Solve)
  • 100 Things That Made My Year – 2022
    100 Things That Made My Year – 2022
  • Where Did I Set My iPhone
    Where Did I Set My iPhone
  • The Tragedy Of Gina "Bronco" Bouza (1932-1957)
    The Tragedy Of Gina "Bronco" Bouza (1932-1957)
  • So I Could Work More
    So I Could Work More
  • Every Day I'm Shufflin
    Every Day I'm Shufflin
  • Another Great Riddle For You To Try
    Another Great Riddle For You To Try
  • Mastermind, By: Maria Konnikova
    Mastermind, By: Maria Konnikova
  • Building A Company Wiki
    Building A Company Wiki
  • The Compulsion To Read
    The Compulsion To Read

Supporting = Loving

Buy Me a Coffee

Recent Posts

  • So I Could Work More
  • Employee Of The Month
  • Where I Sit 25
  • Where Did I Set My iPhone
  • Random Thoughts – 376
  • A Different Level Of Interest
  • Every Day I’m Shufflin
  • Where I Sit 24
  • Cold And Limp And All Of The
  • Random Thoughts – 375
  • King Of Love, By: I Am They
  • The Point Of Learning
  • Instabooks 371
  • A Dopamine Hit Just One
  • Random Thoughts – 374
  • A Leaders Necessary Exposure To Risk
  • The Compulsion To Read
  • Instabooks 370
  • With Tea Looking Out Of That
  • Random Thoughts – 373
  • Stayed Up All Night
  • Missed Internet Mania
  • Tenderloin, San Francisco
  • And That All This Is A Pause
  • Random Thoughts – 372

Copyright © 2023 · Generate Pro On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in