Teenage rules and consequences are such a tricky thing, aren’t they?
As a parent you want guardrails for your children, rules for which they need to follow.
But how you you give a teenager a rule and consequence that encourages compliance, rather than rebellion?
The key is to make them internalize it.
In short, they have to do it it because they want to, not because a threat hangs over them.
Understand: Persuasion expert Robert Cialdini agrees with me on this.
If parents do believe in enforcing a lot of regulations, the way they explain them matters a great deal. New research shows that teenagers defy rules when they’re enforced in a controlling manner, by yelling or threatening punishment. When mothers enforce many rules but offer a clear rationale for why they’re important, teenagers are substantially less likely to break them, because they internalize them.
-Adam Grant, Originals