Laces are for losers because only a fool would want an extra step.

You could wear step-into boots, loafers, slip-on shoes, sandals or even the disgraced flip-flop.

But for some insane reason, you prefer to take an extra five minutes to put on your shoes and then have silly-string dangle around on top of your feet all day.

Not only are laced shoes a pain to put on, the incompetent things untie themselves every few hours under the normal wear and tear of the day.

Now I am not speaking of athletic shoes here. You need what you need to compete on the court and at the gym.

I am talking about the other 99% of your life when you are wasting time playing with shoelaces.

A four year old at church once asked me to tie his shoe for him. I asked him if he knew how to tie them. When he said he didn’t, I asked:

If you can’t tie them, then why are you wearing shoes with shoelaces?

Now.

As insolent as that is, he has to wear whatever his parents force upon him.

But you. You are fiddling about with footwear like you are going to live forever.

Stop it.

Slip your shoes on and get on with the day.

Like I said, laces are for losers.