Is this a disrespectful child? What do you think?
Cause, I don’t know about you.
But if I tell a kid that “The door is open.” after they were
clearly the last to walk through it – and they respond with “So why don’t you close it?” – I am going to assume they are being snarky and rude.
Context too – I know, I know.
You have to somehow get them to want to do the right thing.
Caution. It is possible to use this skill in a way that can be irritating. For example, one father told us he was standing near the front door on a cold day and said to his son, who had just entered, “The door is open.” The boy countered with, “So why don’t you close it?” The group decided that the boy experienced his father’s descriptive statement as, “I’m trying to get you to do the right thing—hint, hint.” The group also decided that descriptive statements work best when the child feels that his help is genuinely needed.
-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)