Sterling Terrell

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You are here: Home / Potpourri / Dependent On Us Is Not The Parenting Goal

Dependent On Us Is Not The Parenting Goal

Dependent On Us Is Not The Parenting Goal

There’s a certain parental comfort we take in our kids being dependent on us, isn’t there?

I am talking here about some of the small joys of being a parent.

Changing a diaper. Helping them get dressed. Driving them to school. Etc.

As they get older you might teach them about balancing a checkbook, driving with care, and having healthy relationships.

But it strikes me occasionally that one of the main goals of successful parenting is to eliminate all of this – or at least eliminate our parts in it.

We want our kids to be able to do all these things when we are not standing over their shoulders.

We nurture our uncivilized children into independent and functioning adults.

I, for one, hope my kids still want to be friends (and live nearby) after everything is said and done.

Heaven help me if I shepherd them up and they just leave!

We want our children to know that they’re not completely dependent on us. The world outside the home—the pet shop, the dentist, the school, an older child—can all be called upon to help them with their problems.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)

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Filed Under: PotpourriTagged With: #Independence, #Parenting

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