The main part of showing our children what needs to be done – is shepherding them along the way.

Let’s remember that a shepherd does not force though. A shepherd nudges and protects.

Describing something to a child gives them language for something they do not have experience articulating (or something they didn’t notice).

And then giving information gives them the opportunity to put cause-and-effect together in a systematic way.

“I don’t think you are sad. I think you might be angry. Sometimes people who are angry need to let their energy out. Would you like to go on a walk with me?”

Or:

“You left the door open. The cat can get outside if you leave the door open.”

These go with point 1 and point 2, here.

When grown-ups describe the problem, it gives children a chance to tell themselves what to do. When children are given information, they can usually figure out for themselves what needs to be done.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)