You will just have to take my word on this and try if for yourself, I suppose.

When your children are emotional (particularly mad) getting them to draw their feelings works wonders.

You may have to stand over them and ask a few questions here and there to keep them going,

They relax in the shoulders as soon as they start. Within a second you can see it in their face.

The best part is seeing what they come up with.

But my guess is that you already knew that…

We’ve heard many stories about angry children who have felt calmer after punching pillows, hammering old grocery cartons, pounding and kneading clay, roaring like a lion, throwing darts. But the one activity that seems most comfortable for parents to watch, and most satisfying for children to do, is to draw their feelings.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)

You calm your coworker by pointing out their feeling.

The next time your coworker wants to blow up over something, maybe recognize their feeling – instead of explaining why they shouldn’t be mad in the first place.

“You’re mad, aren’t you? Yeah, I thought so. Because Ted talked over you at the meeting? I get it. It’s hard to know how to handle things like that after the fact.”

This might not put the issue to rest or “solve” anything.

But an understanding ear can deescalate a tense situation.

Good-grief we all just want to be heard and understood, don’t we?

This works for kids too, of course.

What people of all ages can use in a moment of distress is not agreement or disagreement; they need someone to recognize what it is they’re experiencing.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)