Your daughter has an intimacy imperative.
This is because her ultimate desire is the intimacy found in close relationships.
I hope all of her relationships are blessed.
This reminds me of the idea from Shauna Niequist on what people crave:
What people are craving isn’t perfection. People aren’t longing to be impressed; they’re longing to feel like they’re home. If you create a space full of love and character and creativity and soul, they’ll take off their shoes and curl up with gratitude and rest, no matter how small, no matter how undone, no matter how odd.
-Shauna Niequist, Bread And Wine
Your son though? Well. He’s different.
He simply wants something to conquer.
In his book The Wonder of Girls, psychologist Michael Gurian refers to what he calls the “intimacy imperative” that drives a girl’s thoughts and her behaviors. According to Gurian, a boy’s primary search is for independence while a girl’s is for intimacy. Girls want independence too, just as boys want intimacy, but that search is not the one that defines them.
-Melissa Trevathan and Sissy Goff, Raising Girls
