1.It offends me quite personally when someone uses a bank CD as an investment.

2. Read as broadly as possible.

3.I fear that people who are the problem rarely realize that they are the problem.

4. I can appreciate silence. You too?

5. Never leave me a voicemail. 100% chance I will never listen to it.

1.Uh, is my father-in-law hoping to poison me by always offering me expired food?

2. Animals were prosecuted because people didn’t tithe.

3. And who cares about that. Really. You are going to be dead soon. 100 years is MUCH shorter than you think.

4. You are reading – it’s not a contest.

5. I was unaware that you were a real man. But then, I noticed how loud your truck is, no muffler and all. Now I can’t believe how masculine you are.