Sterling Terrell

smart ideas from books (mostly)

5 Steps To Parental Problem Solving

5 Steps To Parental Problem Solving

I think that parental problem solving can be an alternative to traditional punishment too.

You sit down and you are honest: “I need A, B, and C from you. What do you need from me? And what ideas can we come up with to both get what we want?”

I still think there is a special power here in the act of writing some of these things down.

You may have to send your kid to military school one day, I guess…

But it’s worth at least trying to work together first. Right?

To Problem-Solve Step I. Talk about the child’s feelings and needs. Step II. Talk about your feelings and needs. Step III. Brainstorm together to find a mutually agreeable solution. Step IV. Write down all ideas—without evaluating. Step V. Decide which suggestions you like, which you don’t like, and which you plan to follow through on.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)

It’s Good

It’s Good

It’s good is when all your problems are solvable problems.

You know what I mean?

So many issues are not easily resolved – let’s have the perspective to celebrate the obstacles that are.

  • Car broke? Good. I needed a walk.
  • Cold/Sinus? Good. I wanted to catch-up on some TV.
  • Hate your job? Good. I needed a new start.

This blog post was a complete bust?
Good.
I’ll post four more tomorrow.

What a great lesson to teach a child.

“All right, I get it,” Uncle Jake said. “Is that it?” “Is that it???? I get picked on by a bully, made fun of because I can’t do any pull-ups, I don’t know what eight times seven is, and I don’t even know how to swim!! How much worse can it get???” I said loudly. “Good,” said Uncle Jake. “Good?” I asked. “How the heck is all that good?” “It’s good because every one of those problems is something you can change. Every one of them.” I didn’t know what to say. Here I was, a complete mess, crying over my situation. But Uncle Jake was calm, so calm it made me start to get calm, too.

-Jocko Willink, The Way Of The Warrior Kid

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