Let’s not short our kids any of the important experiences that this life has to offer.

See, I absolutely love that life is this big mosaic of emotions and encounters:

• A first birthday party.
• The apprehension of starting kindergarten.
• The joy of a new puppy.
• Snow angels.
• The loss of a grandparent.
• A first crush.
• Getting cut from cheerleading tryouts
• Graduating high school.
• Getting married.
• Getting fired.
• Holding your newborn child.

Of course, I just touched the surface.

But can you fathom denying someone any of the joys or disappointments that this life has to offer?

You exist! And your were born a human! I mean, you basically won the lottery already. Soak it all up!

Even the hard parts too.

Removing the painful parts has a lot of philosophical implications, if you want to know the truth.

I could not agree more that most of the pleasure comes before the event.

Understand: Parents fail when they don’t let their kids fail.

Much of the pleasure of life lies in dreaming, fantasizing, anticipating, planning. By trying to prepare children for the possibility of disappointment, we can deprive them of important experiences.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)

I think that protecting children from disappointment should be done in the same way that I have said children should experience consequences.

We should allow our children disappointment in the small things (hopefully a natural result of their choices) – so that they might learn proper action in the big things.

Want an example? Fine. But it’s late. So only one.

You might allow your daughter the disappointment of not making the seventh grade tennis team.

You encouraged her to practice – but her actions did not match her aspiration.

In this, hopefully she has learned a lesson.

And now hopefully when she is in high school and wants an A+ in chemistry, experience will have taught her what she must do.

And later, in law school, the same response will kick in when she begins studying for the bar exam.

Parenting on 3. Ready, break.

By trying to protect children from disappointment, we protect them from hoping, striving, dreaming, and sometimes from achieving their dreams.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)