Sterling Terrell

recovering economist

Parenting Disposition: Improved

Parenting Disposition: Improved

What if we could improve our parenting disposition?

Not necessarily our outcomes, just our attitude in the midst of it all.

I find this all easier when I first differentiate between what is important and what’s not.

And then do you know what I do?

I often give the kids free reign over the latter.

Understand: Apathy is sometimes good for your sanity.

When I finally learned to turn over to the children the responsibilities that rightfully belonged to them, everyone’s disposition improved. Here’s what helped me: Whenever I’d feel myself starting to get agitated or involved, I’d ask myself, “Do I have any choice here? . . . Must I take over? . . . Or can I put the children in charge instead?”

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)

Protect Children From Disappointment?

Protect Children From Disappointment?

I think that protecting children from disappointment should be done in the same way that I have said children should experience consequences.

We should allow our children disappointment in the small things (hopefully a natural result of their choices) – so that they might learn proper action in the big things.

Want an example? Fine. But it’s late. So only one.

You might allow your daughter the disappointment of not making the seventh grade tennis team.

You encouraged her to practice – but her actions did not match her aspiration.

In this, hopefully she has learned a lesson.

And now hopefully when she is in high school and wants an A+ in chemistry, experience will have taught her what she must do.

And later, in law school, the same response will kick in when she begins studying for the bar exam.

Parenting on 3. Ready, break.

By trying to protect children from disappointment, we protect them from hoping, striving, dreaming, and sometimes from achieving their dreams.

-Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Amazon)

Sterling Terrell